The Night of Nights has passed

*collective huge ass sigh of release*

What a wilde ride that was. Quite possibly the craziest month of October I have yet to experience. Soooo much happened I hardly know where to begin. There was much crafting and sewing happening (though not as much as there should have been and I apologize to everyone that I wasn't able to help) and in the end I think Rowan and I both managed to look smashing. I'll have to get her to take a pic of her fabulous cloak for me as really there is no other way to truly appreciate it other than to see it.

On top of that I think it's safe to say my "priestess" skills where tested and I think I came out ok. It started with the Grove meeting early in the month where I discovered that a good portion of the ritual was hinging on the story of Persephone and Demeter, and guess who was responsible for that? Yay you guessed it.

Needless to say I was nervous. The story can be controversial in many different ways and I tend to lean towards a more romantic version of the tale. It does happen to be one of my favorite myths and I wanted to do it justice. After consulting with the lovely Iris, and brainstorming with my supportive and clear sighted Man, I figured out a way to weave the story without touching on the portions that wouldn't pertain to a woman's journey. In the end I managed to get it it all out without stumbling or stuttering or pausing too long, huzzah to that! And I think everyone enjoyed it, and I really had a good time tailoring it to the ritual. The ritual turned out beautifully.

After the brief stint of being consumed by Persephone and her story it was back to Samhain and the Band Sidhe. I ceased to be nervous about it so much as just felt numb lol, after many hang out sessions with my covenmates, I just decided to go with it and whatever would happen would happen. And as the time drew near I became so focused on getting everything done for the ritual and I didn't have time to freak out till the half hour or so in the car on the way with Rowan.

The new space was immense, and the energy was buzzing. As soon as we got there, there was no more time to fret because there was just so much more to do. Setting up the altar, which turned out beautifully, setting out the food, getting dressed and prepped. The people started filing in and the gong was gonged and silence began.

And then we were all alone with our thoughts. I think that's when the nerves came back. I couldn't help but think of my Grandmother who recently passed, the family drama that has arisen from it, my Grandfather that I never knew but who was always a presence in my life, my beautiful cat Logan who passed away so tragically young. And how much I wanted to do them all proud, and how I wanted to make all my covenmates proud, nor let down all the patrons that came out to celebrate with us.

Silence was over and we all filtered into the antichamber and it was time to be grounded, it was time to sink or swim. Rabbit took us through a meditation and I saw her, the Band Sidhe, and it was....emotional. There is all this mystery about the Band Sidhe, even a song that asks whether she is a beautiful princess or a twisted hag.

For me she is tragically beautiful. Haunting ethereal eyes, blood shot and red from endless tears that will never cease to fall. She was bright and young and stunning once, but has given in to grief and rage and it has colored her for eternity. A ghostly image of our mortal suffering that we all must face and embrace if we ever hope to reach our true potential.

I can't describe what I was thinking about as I sat up there, I don't know, I couldn't focus. I felt this barely controlled rage, grief, and pure emotional inside, and when I was my turn there was no more holding back. I can't say the words that were said, though I could summarize the point, it was more about the emotion for me.

I have to give a heartfelt thanks to all my coven for being so supportive and helping me get my grounding back afterwards. Maya, I can't tell you how much it meant to me for you to be there when I sat down, it was truly comforting. Leticia, thank you for the sisterly hand in the middle of the ritual. And to each and everyone that lent me a caring gaze, hug and understanding support. It is an amazing feeling being amongst a group of people so powerful, understanding, and loving as this one.

From what I could tell everyone was AMAZING, and the night went on without a hitch. With the crowning of our new Winter King and Queen the somber mood was lifted in joyous celebration, two more deserving people could not have been chosen. Congratulation Mark and Rowan you two are a truly inspiring couple and I know that only good things will be founded under your reign.

The Spiral Dance, what can I say about the spiral dance other than it was truly an experience to be experienced. So many joyous powerful voices, so much energy and good will. NOTHING compares.

It was an amazing cleansing, emotionally draining, wonderful, sad, joyous, magical evening. I am truly blessed and thankful to have taken part in it.

I think it was helpful for me to get out all the sadness of my Grandmother's death that evening, especially in light of the situations that seem to be occurring with my family and the house.

As an update, no my drunk Uncle will not be moving into the upstairs. Thank the Gods for that.

But some more things are on the horizon and in general it seems like boundaries need to be set and respect needs to be established. Band Sidhe, Morrigan, and Dagdha give me the strength to say what needs to be said, and make happen what needs to be happen.

It sad but true that today family means little, and money erases good sense from people.

I've always said that the saying Blood is thicker than water, was invented by the less deserving relatives. And sadly this childhood belief has proven true.

The wheel has turned, and the times turned dark, the rain returns to us (Blessing upon the Gods!) and the Holidays approach. May everyone find comfort on these cold dark nights.

Thanks for reading, thanks for living, thanks for simply being.

Oh and GO VOTE!!!

Branwen