Who is that person in the mirror??

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered "Who the hell is that?", or look at a photo of yourself and just not recognize it?

Happens to me all the time. Seriously, all the time. I can't recall an instance where I have looked at an image of myself and haven't thought "That's not me."

Now this is not a call out for compliments or anything of the like. I'm not saying that I think I'm an ugly woman, ok? It's just the me I see in photos and what not, yeah I look NOTHING like that in my head. It's just not the same, and the truly sad part is there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

It's not something I can change with a diet and excersize, it's not something that new make up will make better. Nope it's just a reality I suppose I need to deal with. Because even plastic surgery wouldn't be able to help me, my face is just a completely different structure in my head.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy. I'm not a 6 ft blonder haired blue eyed girl in my head. I know my eye color, I know my hair color and what not, it's small things. In photos and mirrors my eyes look squinty and small. Not in my head. In reality my nose is slightly bigger in my head, my chin more demure, my hair flater. All these little things add up to a bigger picture that just doesn't fit...doesn't look as lively as I feel/think. Does that make any sense at all?

I can't explain when this started or why this is, perhaps a childhood of excessive imaginative stimulus in order to entertain myself created this break in reality of my self image.

I guess i shouldn't let it bother me as you know there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. But I dunno it just makes me...sad. I also see why I get frequent remarks that I look tired or sad, it always confuses me, but the reality of the matter is, that's what I look like.

I don't know it's a strange world.

Enough of this, no use crying over spilled milk. I was just wondering if I was the only one.

Obligatory Cranky Hot Post

Yes I do have a nice big lovely art and story post in my draft box, that needs a few tweeks still to hand over to the blogosphere as sacrament.

But in the mean time there are just a few things I would like to say.

1) Heat in a house with no Air conditioning and little insulation, suckith.
2) Living with a roommate and thus unable to fling wide the bedroom door allowing air in at night to cool your hide, due to being indecent, also suckith.
3) Having to tell your neighbors to not use your hose to frolick and fill up their kiddie pool, uhh because THEIR NOT PAYING FOR IT! Is just effed up.

That is All.