THE Meeting

Well I had the meeting with Rabbit today. The big meeting that everyone no matter how cool they acted were secretly anxious about, myself very much included.

It was a sorta checking in point now that we've reached halfway through this year and a day initiation. As usual Rabbit was very calming, insightful, and in general a great big help more than anything else.

She put to rest a lot of the niggling little things that like to pop into ones head and torment you. Such as whether or not you're on the right path as far as deity goes, are you fitting into the group at all or just floundering around without any real magical talent.

So I'm not going to worry anymore, about whether or not I'm not being open enough and that's why I haven't gotten any real connection with new Deity, I'm going to stick to what I know and work on those relationships I've already established.

I won't worry that I'm not as obviously magical as my sisters and brothers, every star shines different and I just happen to be more salt of the earth in my ways. Besides who can really see what they look like to others anyways?

I will just keeping walking, for really I wouldn't want to do anything else lol. And continue to remember that these, my coven family love me, and see in me something I may not always see but will always be, and in that I can and will trust.

I will contemplate and meditate more seriously on walking down the Dianic path in Rabbit's initiation. We had a good talk and I now know more where she is coming from and trying to take that path, and it's not all that scary or different than what I believe. I think I'll still grapple with it, even when I start walking it, but in the end I think it would be good for me to be comfortable with whatever it is that makes me uncomfortable in a completely female situation. Especially since hearing Rabbit's thoughts it has put my mind to rest that, at least in the tradition she is mothering, women aren't thought above all merely for the fact that they are women. It seems to be a lot about being comfortable being yourself with real sisterhood, and that's something I could use some working on.

I will end this on the note that whilst I typed these affirmations of my path and self, I heard a hawk cry. I must say I've never seen a hawk in Berkeley and went out on my back porch in time to see it give a cry and fly in between my house and a neighbors.

That must be a good sign, hey? Hawks are generally though to be bringers of clarvoyance and clear-sighted-ness, especially in my tradition. I will take it as a blessing of those decisions I reached today and thank the Gods for sending it.

Till next we meet,
Branwen