The Wonderful World of Paganism

Aka The Paneathcon Entry.

So it's Tuesday and I have had a couple days to reflect on my adventure into that wonderful thing called Con. I have to say it was a blast. Not for the generally thought about reasons, such as the panels and what not, though I'm sure some of them were awesome and eye opening. It's just not what I found myself wanting to do. I much preferred just...hanging out, and being put on tasks lol.

But then I've found that to be increasingly the case with all the Con's I go to. Not sure what that means but as long as I have fun I don't really care.

Rabbit was kind enough to let me bunk with her for Friday evening (Friday the 13th) in room 666. That's right, and yes it was hella awesome.

And in so being in close proximity to Rabbit you generally find yourself in the middle of everything lol. Which was very good for me, because frankly there weren't a lot of panels I wanted to go to and whenever I found myself hemming and hawing over what I was going to settle on I'd get a text, or run into Rabbit or someone and suddenly I had a much more entertaining and useful task to do. Ahhh unintentional magic how useful you are.

Basically what I learned at P-con was *drumroll please* My Coven is AWESOME. Frankly not the most astounding revelation ever as I already knew everyone was amazing. But I have habit of being somewhat single minded and focused on the next step of what we're doing so much that sometimes it's hard to see the greater impact of it all. Then something like P-con will come along and I'll just sit there observing and realize, holy jumping salmon look at us! And really honestly lets take a moment to look at us shall we.

At Pantheacon it seemed that CAYA was everywhere. And maybe this is just my small view colored by my own involvement therein, but really it seemed you couldn't walk very far without running into one of us. Not only that, but it seemed that ever where I went, people were talking about us. In a good way not a paranoid crazy way. I'd be at registration and hear about how so and so heard the ---

I just heard Thunder. Real live thunder. Sorry had to document that after running outside in glee to look at the storm (silly girl I know). It's just been so long since I heard thunder.

Anyways back to what I was saying. It seemed like I was running into either people who were going to the Brotherhood ritual and had heard good things (to which I added with enthusiasm) or women who had been to the Amazon ritual and were singing it's praises (to which I beamed with pride). And then there was the Oracle of the Living Tarot, which I know wasn't really a CAYA production but come on there were enough CAYA folks in it that it defiantly had an effect on the flavor. And oh what an grand flavor it was.

It really just sorta drove home to me, that I was exactly where I wanted and needed to be. See I'm somewhat spoiled and very lucky in that CAYA is really my first coven. Prior to that I was a very strict solitary, and I knew enough about what I wanted out of a community that I just didn't venture off to public ritual because none of them seemed to emphasis those things most important to me. Then there was CAYA whose name said it all, Come As You Are. What more really needs to be said than that.

The first ritual I went to was at Grove of Artemis, and the energy was so refreshing and exactly what I imagined group rituals should be that I just stopped looking for anywhere else. My first CAYA ritual was Ostara and I was sooo welcomed and felt like I already made connections, and that was the ritual I took up my magical name and it was just a magical fit all the way around.

I went to my first Celtic Recon. Ritual at P-con this year. First as in first group ritual, because really my personal practice is pretty inundated with Celtic Recon. Studies and the like. And they were a very nice group of people, with a very lovely ritual, and beautiful words, and music. The only thing they lacked was the energy. And apparently the energy is very very important to me.

It also made me realize that I am really going to be a "Priestess". Shocking I know, what with training for a year and a day and all you'd think that would have sunken in. But really I was never in it for the title, I was honestly uncomfortable of the title. See I'm a Celt and we've always had issues with Cergy folk, spirituality and religion is different between everyone and their Gods. But I knew that the words meaning is different here in CAYA than a Dogmatic sense, no one hear is looking to be an ultimate authority, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Still though I couldn't help but squirm a little at the thought of having a title of Priestess, I didn't see anything in me that was what I considered Preistly.

See I see myself more as a work horse than anyone holding the reigns. I like to do tasks, make myself useful, I like giving ideas and feeling like I'm contributing to the greater whole. But that never really added up to "Priestess" in my mind. Priests are leaders, they have ideas and inspire others to dream along with them. I have heard others in my coven talk of ideas of other circles and rituals they want to make happen, and that to me is befitting of the title. I never really felt that before. And then I went to the Celtic Recon. ritual, which was really more a Neo-Druid ritual but lets try not to get caught up in labels lol.

And the whole time I was trying to stay focused in the moment, energy present. But I couldn't, it was too busy taking stock of the situation and coming up with things that should be done. There needed to be drumming or chanting to keep the energy stable and ready to rise at the important moment, the clergy needed to step up and lead by example to get the audience to feel comfortable speaking aloud. And all the papers they were reading off of needed to disappear, because as a very wise Rabbit says "Anyone can read off a paper, a Priest/ess reads off the heart."

As I left that ritual my mind kept buzzing with how I would have planned it if I could, and the deep urge to go thank Rabbit. Like an apple hitting me in the head and saying "See dingbat, you do want to be a Preistess. How else would you ever be able to have a real Celtic ritual your way?" it all became clear.

I don't know if I'll ever start my own circle, frankly I'm enjoying the now too much to think that far ahead. But I now realize I like having the option and more over if I do decided I know that I will be capable of doing so with the style grace and wisdom that CAYA instilled in me.

Well now, that certaintly isn't all that happened this weekend but I think this post is long enough and will save the rest for another time.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back and
May the Sun bless you on your journey.

Branwen